| First Season |
| Second Season |
Episode 101: Cartman Gets an Anal Probe Back to top |
Cartman thinks he has a dream about being abducted by aliens, but it really happened. They feel his ass all over, and then give him an anal probe. On the bus to school that day, they see some aliens holding Ike (Kyle's egg-headed brother). They see mutilated cows in their fields. The farmers see aliens walking in the fields waving hay to the cows. In school, Cartman farts, and fire comes out of his ass. It lights Pip on fire, and he runs around the room. During lunch, a little mechanical eye with a body pops out of Cartman's ass and looks around, until going back in. The boys ditch school to go find Kyle's brother. When they're out, lightning strikes Cartman's ass, and he gets blushy cheeks and starts singing some 'gay' woman music. They see the alien spaceship, and Kyle throws a rock at it, but it fires a laser back, hits Kenny, and knocks him into the road. He gets up. Cows run over him. He gets up again. He gets hit by a police car chasing the cows, and it kills him. More people see the aliens, and crop circles that look like Cartman begin to form. The boys take Cartman, and tie his foot to a tree in the middle of a field. Cartman farts, the anal probe comes out of his ass, and turns into a huge satellite. Four alien ships come, and four aliens appear on the ground. The aliens say cows are the smartest beings on earth, and Ike gets returned. Cartman goes into the ship, and they take out the anal probe. Stan and Wendy are going to have their KISS SCENE, but Stan pueks in her face. The next day, at the bus stop, Cartman falls out of the sky. |
Episode 102: Weight Gain 4000 Back to top |
Cartman wins a writing contest named 'Save our Fragile Planet', and he gets to be on TV in Southpark with Kathy Lee Gifford. Wendy thinks she should have won, but that wasn't so. the mayor is getting ready, by decorating, having a play, and having Chef sing a song. [Flashback]Mr Garrison is in a talent show where he is very little. He is doing jokes with Mr. Hat. Then, Kathy Lee Comes up, and sings a huge song, with two hand puppets, choreography, and everything. She ends up winning. [/Flashback] Mr. Garrison gets to direct the school play. At home, Cartman sees a comercial about some food supposed to make you buff (it has 4000 grams of saturated fat per serving) That night, Mr. Garrison remembers the talent show, and Mr. Hat says that he should kill her, but he says no. The next day, Cartman shows up at the bus stop, weighing more than evr, and wearing an undershirt that says BEEFCAKE. He's so fat, he can't even fit through the bus door, but he thinks he's buff. They rehearse the play, and the mayor is mad, because there is killing, and other 'bad' stuff going on. Mr. Garrison gets dismissed from directing the play, and he decides to let Mr. Hat kill Kathy Lee Gifford. Mr. Garrison goes to Jimbo's Guns shop, and buys a big gun to kill Kathy Lee. Wendy sneaks into the classroom that night, and finds out that Cartman cheated on the essay, and just changed the name on a famous piece of writing, and she sees that Mr. Garrison is going to shoot Kathy Lee. The next day, Mr. Garrison goes up to the book depository to get a clear shot of Kathy Lee. Cartman is fatter than ever, and Wendy gets Stan to help her stop Mr. Garrison. Chef gets up there to sing his song, but he sings about making sweet love with Kathy Lee, and is made to stop. Stan and Wendy see Mr. Garrison, and go up to stop him. Cartman goes up to get his prize, but he is so fat, he needs help from Kyle and Kenny. When he gets up there, Mr. Garrison is shooting, when Cartman breaks the stage, Kathy Lee flies in the air, and he accidentally shoots Kenny, who also flies up, and lands on the flagpole, and slides down it. HILARIOUS! Kathy Lee drives away, Cartman doesn't get to be on TV, and Mr. Hat gets arrested. Cartman does get to be on Geraldo, though, and here's something Geraldo says (out of context, "Obesity, Adiposity, Corpulence... What ever word you use, it represents one thing. Being a big fat ass. We have with us today, live via satellite, Eric Cartman from South Park, who is now so obese he can't even get out of his house" Cartman says something I call Cartman 3:16, no matter what others think, "Follow your dreams, you can reach your goals, I'm living proof...beefcake...BEEFCAKE!" And at last they show how Kathy Lee make sweet love with Chef. |
Episode 103: Volcano Back to top |
Cartman, Stan, Kyle, Jimbo, and his war buddy Ned are going hunting on the mountain. In the woods, they each get a gun, beer, and some cigarettes. Jimbo doesn't care about anything, as long as they don't spill their beer. They see a black bear, and Jimbo pumps it full of lead. He tell them that they have to say that it is coming right for them, for them to be able to legally hunt. Next, they see a deer eating some grass, and Jimbo shoots it with a rocket launcher. There is a small bunny, and they want Stan to shoot it, but he won't, and they make fun of him. Then there's a rumble, and the geologist finds out that there's a volcano. That night, the fire wouldn't cook their hot dogs, so Ned tried to add some gasoline, but accidentally lights himself on fire, and blows up the hummer. The geologist meets with the mayor to say there will be a volcano, and they realize the people are on the mountain. Back on the mountain, Cartman tells the story of SkuzzleButt, with a celery for an arm, and for a leg, Patrick Duffy. He also lives on the mountain, and weaves baskets. Ned, Jimbo, and Kenny go fishing, and they start to like Kenny more than Stan. Cartman is gone that morning, and dresses up as Skuzzlebutt to scare everyone. When they see him, they decide to shoots him. Jimbo gets on some missle racks, and tries to shoot him, but misses. The people below start digging a trench to make the lava miss Southpark, and the hunters are still trying to track down Cartman. The other townspeople, learn about lava safety, and the DUCK AND COVER method. They realize it is Cartman, and stop shooting. Then, the volcano erupts. A lavaball falls on Kenny, but he lives, and then it rolls on him. The townspeople try the DUCK AND COVER method, but they burn up. When they try to get back, the trench is in the way, but Skuzzlebutt comes, weaves them a basket, puts them in, and lifts them to the other side (they wouldn't have been killed anyway). Everyone thanks Skuzzlebutt. Then, Stan shoots him, and is proud of it, but Jimbo says that some things you should not shoot. Ned drops his gun, and it kills Kenny.(funny enough, earlier, he had no ammo). |
Episode 104: Big Gal Al's Big Gay Boat Ride Back to top |
At the bus stop, Stan brings his new dog, Sparky. He says Sparky is thr toughest dog in Southpark, but Cartman thinks Sylvester is, so they get them to fight. Sparky gets behind Sylvester, and mounts him, showing that he is gay. After school, they have football practice. Pip gets upset, because he doesn't have a helmet, but the school can't afford any more. Ned and Jimbo really want them to beat the spread on their homecoming game again Middlepark, and Stan is the star quarterback. Sparky follows Stan to practice, and some other kid's dog is there, and Sparky mounts him. In school, Stan gets good grades, because he is the star QB. After class, Stan asks Mr. Garrison what a homosexual is, but he isn't much help. At the bookie, every bets that the Cows will beat the spread, after Jimbo makes the bet. Stan tries, to get Sparky not to be gay, but it doesn't work. Stan tried to call in to Jesus and Pals about homos, but he gets cut off. During the half-time show in the game, someone is singing a song, and Jimbo sets it up so, at a point in the song, a bomb will go off by Middlepark's bench. Sparky runs away and is on the mountain, going through the snow. He comes to Big Gay Al's Big Gay Animal Sanctuary, where Big Gal All greets him, and welcomes him. Stan goes out right before the big game, to find Sparky. Kyle has to play QB, when Stan isn't there. Stan finds the sactuary, and goes in, looking for his dog. Meanwhile, at the field, they are getting wasted. At the sanctuary, Big Gal Al taked Stan on a boat ride, and tells him that being gay is OK. At halftime, the guy singing the song can't sing high enough to make the note, and the bomb doesn't go off. Stan finds his dog, and leaves, promising to tell people about the sactuary. Stan comes to the field. They hike the ball, Stan throws to Kyle who runs it in for a touchdown. At the end, Southpark, beat the spread of 70, with a score of Middlepark 73, Southpark 6. After the game, when people were asking Stan what he thought, he said some stuff, and that it is OK to be gay. Stan tells them about the sanctuary, and all the people come. Some find their long lost pets. The sanctuary is gone, but the animals and Big Gal Al is there, who thanks Stan. Then, the singer from halftime, yells that he can make the high note, sings it, and the bomb explodes. |
Episode 105: An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig Back to top |
Stan shows up at the bus stop with a black eye, and they know his sisters beats him up. Kyle also shows up with a huge elephant, that he got through mail-order. Cartman also got a new pot-bellied pig. When the bus pulls up, Kyle says the elephant is the new retarded kid, so Mrs. Crabtree won't let him on the bus. In class they are learning about genetic engineering, and for the science fair, Kyle wants to make a pot-bellied elephant, and Terrence wants to clone a human. Everyone is making fun of Stan by getting beat up by his sister, including Mr. Garrison. When Stan gets home, his sister kicks his ass again. Stan goes outside, and the boys head out to the Genetic Engineering Ranch. It looks like a haunted house. They tell the guy at the door they want to cross-breed an elephant with a pig. Inside there are mainly animals with 4 asses, but a bunnyfish, which is fake, and some other odd stuff, like a gorilla mixed with a mosquito. They find that you can't mix pig and elephant blood, so they ask Chef, who tells them to get them drunk and make them make sweet love. Terrence and Co are already finished with their clone. The boys, howevre, are trying to get the elphant and pig drunk, which takes a lot of beer. Chef tells them they have to get them in the mood to mate, and he starts singing, and Elton John comes and sings. They get the pig and elephant to mate. Terrence's clone, is Stan with a big head, who is really strong. Big Stan escapes to the city, and is very psycotic. Downtown, Big Stan is wreaking havoc. Noone believes that Stan has the clone, and they think that he is causing the problem. Stan tells Big Stan to kill Shelley, but instead he destroys the house. He hits Kenny with a chair, which knocks him into the microwave, which starts up, cooking Kenny. Shelley kicks Big Stan's ass. When Stan's parents get home, and ask why he did it, Shelley tells them it was her. Stan tells Shelley that he's proud of her and stuff, but she kicks his ass again. At school, Terrence shows up with a 5-assed monkey. The pig hasn't given birth yet, but it beings to, and out pop little Mr. Garrisons. |
Episode 106: Death Back to top |
With the help of Stan's grandfather, the kids summon the Grim Reaper. |
Episode 107: Pinkeye Back to top |
Halloween is interrupted by an outbreak of pink eye. |
Episode 108: Damien Back to top |
It's hard to be the new kid at school, especially when you're Satan's son. When Damien arrives at South Park Elementary School, all hell breaks loose. Meanwhile, Cartman's birthday party is overshadowed by the pay-per-view event of the year, 'Jesus vs. Satan.' |
Episode 109: Starvin' Marvin Back to top |
Government authorities mistake Cartman for a starving African child and send him to Ethiopia. |
Episode 110: Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo Back to top |
When Kyle's musical holiday pal Mr. Hankey shows up it makes for a memorable Christmas in South Park |
Episode 111: Tom's Rhinoplasty Back to top |
In this Valentine's Day-themed episode, Ms. Ellen, a totally hot substitute teacher comes to town to take over for Mr. Garrison while he gets a spiffy nose job at Tom's Rhinoplasty. The guys develop huge crushes on Ms. Ellen and compete for her affections. Wendy becomes so 'insanely' jealous that Stan's attention is focused elsewhere, she vows to take Ms. Ellen down. Meanwhile, Mr. Garrison has some problems dealing with his new-found manly good looks. Natasha Henstridge (Species) guest stars as the voice of the sexy Ms. Ellen. |
Episode 112: Mecha Streisand Back to top |
While on a class trip, the boys find a magical amulet that can be used to create ultimate evil. As the gang prepares for battle, Leonard Maltin comes to the rescue and teams with Chef to save the boys, but it is Robert Smith of The Cure (appearing as his animated-self) who comes to battle the threatening force. |
Episode 113: Cartman's Mom is a Dirty Slut Back to top |
An upcoming Father and Son picnic at South Park Elementary School causes Cartman to behave weirdly, worrying the gang. Stan, Kyle and Kenny seek advice from Mr. Garrison, while Cartman sets out to uncover the identity of his real father. When it becomes evident that just about any male in South Park with a pulse could be Cartman's dad (including the 1991 Denver Broncos), the boys help raise $3,000 for a genetic test that will prove once and for all who the real Mr. Cartman is in this special cliffhanger episode. |
Episode 201: Not Without My Anus Back to top |
The South Park viewer audience is fooled into watching a half hour episode of a Terrence and Phillip movie. |
Episode 202: Cartmans Mom is a Dirty Slut Part II Back to top |
Chef and the boys rush to the hospital to check on Mephesto, who's gunneddown just as he's set to reveal the identity of Cartman's father. Meanwhile, the townspeople search for the gunman and battle a snowstorm. |
Episode 203: Chickenlover Back to top |
South Park's chickens fall victim to a heinous crime spree and it's up to Officer Barbrady and his junior deputies Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman to catch the elusive perpetrator. As more and more chickens are violated, the pressure to catch theChickenlover builds causing an emotional outburst from Officer Barbrady, who admits he can't read. Suspended from the force and sent back to school, Barbrady deputizes the gang so they can help him catch the Chickenlover. While Stan, Kyle, and Kenny help Barbrady decipher clues on the Magical Bookmobile, Cartman takes to the streets as the resident law enforcer, preventing South Park from slipping into total anarchy. |
Episode 204: Ike's Wee-Wee Back to top |
Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny find out that tradition can be pretty scary when a loved one's anatomy is involved. Ike's impending bris strikes fear in Kyle's heart, who devises a plan to protect his baby brother and get him as far away as possible from "South Park" and his "circumcision." With the help of the gang, Ike goes on an adventure...to Nebraska. When the Brovlofski's discover what Kyle has done, a family secret is revealed, teaching the boys an important lesson in family. Meanwhile, the school counselor Mr. Mackey is suspended from his job after an anti-drug message goes awry, forcing him onto the streets into an "altered state" of living. |
Episode 205: Conjoined Fetus LadyBack to top |
Pip is the South Park Cows' secret weapon as the team heads to China for the World Championship of dodgeball in "Conjoined Fetus Lady" |
Episode 206: The Mexican Starring Frog of Sri Lanka Back to top |
A school assignment winds up teaching Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Cartman and the whole town of South Park a thing or two about lying. Ned and Jimbos cable show goes head to head in a rating war with Jesus and Pals |
Episode 207: FlashbacksBack to top |
Not currently avaliable |